Monday, November 29, 2010

LOL 4 Dummies

ALL CAPITAL LETTERS WHICH WILL GRAB YOUR ATTENTION EVEN THOUGH I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING INTERESTING TO SAY.

So I didn’t really have a favorite comment this week, so you all lose.  However, I did get a comment that complimented me AND insulted me in about 3-ish sentences which is kind of mean a skill.  I thought about making an award for this insult/compliment complisult, but instead a just wrote “good job” on the back of an old receipt that I found in my pocket.

“This is completely off-topic, but chunkyknubbynavel almost made me piss myself laughing. I just thought you should know. Your artwork is much better than anything I could do, which actually isn't much of a compliment. Sorry.”  -That Ain’t Kosher



Thanks and unthanks, my friend!

ACTUAL STORY

Internet language has always been a frustrating topic for me.  I think it is because I believe that the English language is some totes magotes wicked sweet lingo affective if used correctly.  Actually, I think I might just be bitter because it wasn’t until a few months ago that I actually learned what ROFL meant, but I didn’t want anyone to know that I thought ROFL meant “Reading On Front Lawn” I didn’t know how to use ROFL, so I used it anyways.  No one ever corrected me because all of you are jerks.

Example 1
Friend: Hey, want to go grab some dinner.
Me: No, I can’t, man.  I gotta ROFL and ROFL
“Read Oedipus for Lecture” and “Rescue Orphans from Lightweight boxers” 

Example 2
Friend: I’m balding.
Me: Omg, ROFL.

“Rogaine Omits Follicle Losses”

Basically, I’m very helpful and heroic...acronymically.  Which is a WIJI (Word I Just Invented).

A few days ago, my anger at internet language exploded, which consequently caused two people to go without dessert because I’m that powerful.

Texting:

Me:  Hey!  What’s going on?
Friend: Eating dinner lol

No one laughs about eating dinner because eating dinner isn’t funny unless you’re eating dinner with midgets I mean little people.  Then I turned green, ripped my shirt off like the Hulk, found a new shirt, and texted my friend’s mother and told her not to give my friend any dessert because my friend is an idiot.

Friend’s Mom:  But she loves dessert lol
Me:  You can’t have any dessert either.
Friend’s Mom: Okay.

I’m influential.

So I wrote the most powerful eight page novel of this generation a stupid book about shirtless vampires.  It is called “LOL 4 Dummies” because I also hate when people use numbers instead of words and so when I use “4” in my title, I am being hilarious.  Appreciate it.











I'm going to be a billionaire.

If any of you dare to leave me comment that just says “lol,” I will figure out your address, and mail you a letter that says you won a free boat, but you WON’T HAVE WON A FREE BOAT. You will be sad, and I will win.

-Whitney

26 comments:

  1. Whitney I love you

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  2. Aight...now, that was just hilarious. I will, though, have to sit down until my feeling of ADD goes away.

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  3. Ha! The recommendations are pretty solid.

    "Please stop sending us your book, we are running out of places to burn them" - Detroit Free Press [then again they probably need the fire to heat their facilites, they are going under faster than small rocks [and churches! ...lead! lead!]

    Whitney .. I think I might have to ad your blog to my list of digital errands (things I do instead of work).

    PS -- This is what part of the alphabet would look like if 'Q' and 'R' were eliminated.

    PPS -- This would be my initials if my middle name was 'Periwinkle'

    PPPS -- I tried doing < s >< /s > for the "things I do instead of work as inspired by your style, but it would not allow html in comments.

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  4. how about a lol shout out to the fools who use the word irregardless....I hate those people...not just their vocabulary...definitely hate the people too.

    What about people who think they have jaundice...but they are really just Asian...

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  5. I was reading this post while taking a break from studying for my finals and I'm fairly confident I almost got kicked out of the library for laughing so loud. I startled a kid at the next table. He gave me a dirty look, and I just laughed harder.

    It was a literal LOL and I thought you should know.

    Also, I plan on using acronymically in my everyday language from now on. I'll let you know how that goes.




    I have just been banned from LITL (laughing in the library). You're awesome!

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  6. @Anonymous
    DUDE. If you leave anonymous comments, I can't find your address to send a a fake letter congratulating you on your fake boat.

    @The Tall One
    Yeah, let me know how speaking acronymically goes. I think I'm going to have to write a bunch down and use them in daily conversation, and then write a post about how it is received. I guessing not well. I mean, ISIWBRHFTTUM...see if you can figure that one out.

    -Whitney

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  7. You are great...just to let you know..

    I'm a following you now...not literally though!!! :)
    and thanks for commenting on my blog post!

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  8. OMG WTF were they thinking when they invented LOL?

    I'll take that free boat now. I hope it was better than the last time I got a letter winning a free boat. The police used the letter to arrest me for outstanding crimes. I spent 3 weeks in jail.

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  9. Rofl lol

    Read Often For ensuing Laughter

    you

    Lazy Oafish Louts

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  10. I was going to do that creepy thing where people follow your blog but they don't comment, so they're just these silent followers that appeared out of nowhere and never say anything...

    But, then I realized that would be creepy. I have nothing to add about speaking in acronyms, but I will say I would buy your book in a second! Looks very informative. LOL. I mean ROFL. Or LMAO. Or LMFAO. How many ways does one need to indicate their lips are turning up?

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  11. Publish it! Everybody is getting rich these days, why not you?

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  12. So tempted to leave you that dreaded abbreviation. But I'll try to contain myself.

    This post was hilarious! :D

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  13. This is hilarious. My stepsister says LOL in person... as in face-to-face conversations. She also uses OMG. I often want to punch her.

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  14. this is great!! And don't worry, for a very long time I didn't know what ROFL meant either... even though that was in 6th grade :)

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  15. I LOVE this post...I wont say just lol because I dont want you to win! But very funny post!

    Thanks for participating in Follow Me Back Wednesday!

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  16. LOL

    I don't want a boat. Just a letter, please.

    I win. :)

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  17. I simultaneously love and feel bad for "Friend's Mom." Great exchange between the two of you, really and truly.

    Perhaps this is crude, but maybe your book should also say that you can use "LOL" if you're obese... because then you don't get any dessert... and then you lose weight. WIN.

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  18. Your face makes me lol

    (sorry, I am trying to win the well done receipt).

    Tres funny posté! :D x

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  19. thank you so much for posting a comment on my blog :) I am now a follower.

    -Victoria

    P.S. Pretty funny I might add.

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  20. I'm following you. And it is in that creepy stalker way. If ever you feel like someone's watching you.......

    LOL ROFL ZOMG SO FUNNEH RIIIIIGHT?

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  21. This is amazing. Thankyou for stopping by my blog, im glad I was able to discover yours! I hate internet lingo to, but I sometimes get lazy and use it *because everyone else does*. And I just learned what FTW meant last week!

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  22. EL OH EL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (<-- That's how much I love you.)

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  23. And I hope you mail me a letter now. You don't have to stalk for my address, though. I can just message it to you. Let me know... El oh el.

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