Sunday, December 12, 2010

Timmy, Whaddya Tase?

Classes are all finished now, and I only have three finals next week, so I think I win.  Every semester around this time I get stressed out and threaten to quit school and do something ridiculous for the orphans.  This year I plan on quitting school and opening a classy bowling alley. 

Me: Ryan, I want to quit school and open a bowling alley.

Ryan:  Please think about what you’re saying. Do you really want to associate with the “bowling crowd?”

Me: Rednecks need love too, Ryan.  But, I’m not going to associate with them, I am going to “own” them.  It’s for the greater good.

Ryan:  Mullets are not for the greater good.  They are all business in the front and a party in the back.


Ryan: What?

Me:  CLASSY BOWLING ALLEY.  There will be martinis and a discotheque.  That’s what kids are into, right?

Ryan: Discotheque?

Me: I’m pretty sure Obama said something like that.

Ryan: Where?

Me: In Time Magazine.

I’m really looking out for the children.


Since “LOL 4 Dummies”  seemed to force me to threaten many people with free boats teach many of you an important lesson, I thought that I’d continue with the “4 Dummies” series with “The Zombie Apocalypse 4 Dummies.”

THEN, one afternoon I was wasting time on YouTube, and searched “Taser,” (don’t question my antics) and from the videos that popped up, it became apparent to me that someone needs to teach people what should and what shouldn’t be tasered.  tased.  tasered.  tased.  I am currently setting my “4 Dummies” efforts aside to dabble in children's literature.  This first book is really moving is titled “Timmy, Whaddya Tase?”

You might have to click on the pictures to read the text.  Sorry it's so small, but I'm an author, not a magical make text bigger wizard.

See?  I'm an American hero.


PS When I gave you my twitter name and was all like, "hey, follow me," I didn't mean for you to open a new twitter account with the names like "Cinnamon DeepLusty,"  take a topless picture of yourself, and THEN follow me on Twitter. 

PPS I want to do some serious pimping out of this blog.  I know NOTHING about html stuff, so if anyone is willing to help me out, shoot me an email.  I don't really have money, but I'll give you my firstborn. Ryan.  a shout-out for your blog or something.