An Explanation and an Apology

In all seriousness, if this is your first time visiting this blog, or possibly the second, please start here or here.

For the rest of you, this is a short explanation as to why it seems like I’ve dropped of the face of the blogging world.


If you read the blogs of even the most talented female comedy writers (This is me giving you a second to go “Oh, yeah!  Jenny Lawson and Allie Brosh!”) they always have one post, or maybe even two or three that are “real.”  It is always shocking when you happen to stumble upon that post, because you realize that even the strongest and most hilarious women struggle with something, and every once in awhile, they succumb to those struggles and that is okay.

All this to say that this is my “that post.”  And it will never happen again.  And it is a very minor “that post.”

A lot has gone wrong, a lot has been hard, a lot has changed, a lot has been remembered that I had so desperately tried to forget, and a lot is slowly getting better, but I don’t actually trust that it is going to get any better at all.  I avoided even logging onto Blogger because God forbid that anyone actually know what I’m thinking or feeling.

After the second time I went to a fast-food restaurant, and some poor 16 year-old girl asked, “What can I get for you?” and I started crying a reply of, “...my best friend back and also I’m not entirely sure because I don’t entirely trust your tacos,” I knew that blogging would jump to the backseat of the priorities list while I spent a month or two picking up some pieces and putting them back together.

To those of you who have sent emails asking where I’ve been, I absolutely adore you.  To those of you whose blogs I usually frequent, I will be back.  Promise.  To those of you who haven’t left, thank you for staying.  To the friend who was so unexpectedly thrown into my life, and who is already forever in my heart, thank you for helping me pick up some of those pieces.

I know that I don’t need anyone’s permission to take a break from writing on my own blog, but so many of you have become so dear to me.  You are all so funny and witty, and really the only sense of community that I have, so I thought I’d give you this quick explanation because I consider you my friends.

However, I cannot write an entirely serious post because there are very few things that I can actually take seriously, even when everything falls apart, so I’ll leave you with a “Whitney and Ryan Conversation” and the promise that I will be back in no less than a month.  Rachel will still be here.

Ryan:  What do those ribbon things mean?

Me: I think they're to support the veterans.  Or breasts. 
...It is probably to support the veteran’s breasts!


Just so you know, I just decided right this second that I’m starting a new cause called “Breasts for Vets.”  I have no idea what it’s actually going to be about, but taking the time to start a cause that has a half-rhyme in its title is practically as good as knowing what your cause is for.  Right, my Paper > Plastic interns?

Also, I have been wanting to write this letter for years:

Hang in there with me,
-Whitney