Hello again, followers of CKN!! I have missed you. Not really. Because I don’t know most of you...and the ones I do know I see pretty often. But still.
I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, so once again I have to grovel a little and give you a list of lame excuses.
Excuse number one: I’m really busy....doing important stuff.
Excuse number two: I’ve been on another continent, helping...people...and endangered monkeys.
Excuse number three: My contract at my office job ended, so I have had fewer funny things to gripe about.
I’ll give you a hint: two of these are lies.
Anyways, yeah, no more boring office job!! But now I have too much down time, which is kind of good because I like to do laundry and read books, but soon I’m hoping to be working again, and taking classes, because, quite honestly, I’m boooored.
But to occupy my extra time, I’ve been working on some writing (not blog related, apparently....) and doing a little bit of socializing, which is good, because I didn’t do much of that for like...a year.
I’ve recently started going swing dancing weekly, with some of my friends. The repercussive opinions of my friends have been rather mixed on this subject....
But it’s ok because the best kind of friends are the kind who can hate and disdain you and still be your friends! Wait......
Anyways, there are some nice people who go to swing. There are also some gooberish people...who are still nice. But also gooberish.
For example. There is this physically disabled guy (we’ll call him....Disabled Guy) who keeps coming onto me. Don’t get me wrong, I have noooo problem with disabled people. What bothers me about this guy, is that he sort of uses his disability to instill pity in girls in order to pick them up. Not cool.
So this guy has some sort of disability, I don’t know what it is exactly, because it’s not bad enough for him to be wheelchair bound, but it’s bad enough that he seems to have some difficulty walking. Which begs the question, what is he doing at a swing dancing social?? Thing is, I’m not that good of a dancer myself, so it makes it really hard when the guy who’s leading isn’t easy to follow...but I’m a nice girl. So I don’t turn boys down when they ask me to dance. Because that would hurt their feeeeeelings.....and then their tentacles would bleed all over me. Ew.
So this guy asked me if I wanted to play the “Random Questions” game while we danced....which is the second lamest pickup. But I humored him, and we asked each other dumb irrelevant things that real adults don’t actually ask each other, such as, “What’s your favorite color?” or “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” Yaaaawn.
Then he asked a brilllllllliant question. “Soooo....I’m not coming onto you or anything, but do you have a boyfriend?”
Yeah, boys, I hate to break it to you, but when you guys ask us that, we ladies are smart enough to know you’re lying.
But I politely said, “No....”
To which he replied, “Fiance...?”
And then my favorite part happened. This is where I became Not a Nice Girl, and I said, “You didn’t ask me if I had a husband.”
The look on his face gave me leave to be convinced he’d crapped his pants.
Like I said. It really wasn’t his disability that turned me off, I just didn’t like him as a person. But seeing as there’s no nice way to say that, I carefully avoided him for the rest of the evening.