Friday, October 22, 2010

Mrs. Potts was a Pregnant Tea Kettle

Tonight Ryan and I watched Beauty and the Beast.  When it ended he kinda squinted his eyes and said, “waaaait a minute...” 

And so it began.

Here’s the deal: when prince/beast was turned into the beast by the pissed-off, hot enchantress lady disguised as a creepy old lady, he had to have been 10 years old.  This is explained by narrator guy who says that the last petal of the rose that appears to have had a fight with some nuclear waste would fall on the prince’s 21st birthday. Then we learn that 10 years had already passed before we meet Belle.  When the spell breaks and prince/beast turns back into prince, he is 20 and not 10.  Okay, I think we got the basics out of the way.  Here’s the problem:  Chip was about three years old when the spell was broken. Think about this...prince/beast was put under the spell at age ten, but he was 20 when the spell broke.  Here is the epic conclusion:

Mrs. Pots must have had Chip while she was a teapot!

This is her shocked that I know her crazy secret:

That’s right you teapot skank.

Now for my question.

It is obvious from the picture that Mrs. Potts could not have carried Chip on her teapot stomach because her fat chin is in the way.  So...where did Chip come from?

I tried drawing a bunch of “baby bumps” on Mrs. Potts, but let’s face it...there is no possible place for her to carry a tea cup.  I would show you my drawing but it looked more like a cancerous mass than a child.  I quickly came to the conclusion that Mrs. Potts must have carried Chip in her spout.

This is my bizarre thought for the evening.

And how about that magic mirror?  Say anything that you want to see, and you will see it?  That has some serious sinful implications.


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